Transcript
[00:00:01]
You're listening to the Her Leadership Coach podcast for the quietly determined career woman who's looking to step up into her first or next level leadership role. If you're looking to make a bigger, more positive difference in your your organization, you've come to the right place. Well, hello. Welcome in. It's Rochelle.
[00:00:23]
Thanks for joining me on today's episode, where we are talking about how to manage up. And boy, this one can feel really tricky at first. Managing up can sound daunting. It's almost like we're talking about some active master manipulation. Or maybe we're trying to use telepathy.
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It's a thing that seems almost magical. Managing up. In reality, though, I found if we step back and look at it from a fundamental point of view, managing up simply good relationship management. That's what we're talking about. So today I'm going to talk about three techniques you can use that will help you manage up in a way that will actually accelerate your next promotion.
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Big call. Yeah, maybe. But after ten years in public service, let me tell you, I have definitely had to learn a thing or two about managing app. Thankfully, my psychology degree has come in handy, along with a number of successful and yes, not so successful attempts at managing out. Now, I don't know about you, but I have found the point at which I start to wonder seriously about how to manage.
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That when I start to think, how do you do this? It's not working. That's when I have encountered a manager who drives me absolutely crazy. You know the kind I mean, right? They're not listening to a word, just saying, or their default answer is no.
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The ones that are, no, you can't do it that way. This is the way we've always done things. That one definitely drives me crazy. Or there's the ones that want you to run every little thing past them before you actually do anything. Yes.
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Sound familiar? When we have a good manager, though, like a real leader, we just don't think about managing it. Right. However, I found it actually pays to know how to manage up whether your manager is a good leader or driving you crazy also. Why is that?
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Because if you're an aspiring leader or you're a leader now and you're wanting to get to the next level of leadership, then your goal is to create the best relationship with your manager that you possibly can so that they sing your praises even when you're not in the room. Okay, before we get into the detail, I'm going to give you a little warning. I'm going to say something that you need to know, which you're probably not going to love. It probably won't seem fair. It might even mean more work for you.
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Are you ready? Managing up is not about getting your manager to do what you want them to do. I know. Painful. I think some people are attracted to the idea of managing up because they have really strong convictions.
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They want to get something done. Or some, because they have innovative ideas, they want to try something different. Some, like me, often because their values are being trampled all over. And if you listen to last week's episodes, you might recall one of my values being autonomy. So anytime I've had a micromanager, boy have my values being trampled on.
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We think that managing it will allow us to somehow channel these convictions or innovative ideas through our manager. Or we think we can cause them to change behavior and stop trampling on our values. The skills I will talk to you today are best for those who themselves want to lead, not simply drive from the backseat. So if that sounds like you, let's get into it. All right, so the first one is you need to understand who your boss is.
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It's up to you to build a good relationship with your boss, whoever they are and whatever their style may be. This is about foundational relationship building, and that's a key skill for an aspiring leader. Right. However, we often forget we need to do this in all directions. So, yes, as a leader, we need to build relationships with our team, with the people that report to us, and we need to build relationships with our colleagues and those on a similar level to us.
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And we need to build a relationship with the people that are higher up the ladder than us. It's not always easy. And if there's bullying involved, that's a different story and an episode for another day. However, if you have the type of boss you can sit down and talk with, then do it. There's a few questions that I like to use that you might like to ask.
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So sitting down with your boss, imagine asking them, where are you looking to head in your career?
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Or maybe something like, what are some things I could do better or differently to help you succeed?
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I like this one, which is, is there a team member you've loved working with? And that can be really helpful to ask if you feel like they don't love working with you or if they're a new leader, right? Because it gives you some clues about what you might want to change in order to help them love working with you. So following that up with what was it about the way they work that you really appreciated? The thing is, few people actually do this with their boss because they just don't think about it.
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We're all so focused on our own careers, we don't make those of others a priority. I guarantee, though, if you do ask your boss these questions, you're going to stand out and they will work harder for you. They may not even notice it. You also want to notice things like whether your boss is an introvert or an extrovert, for example, or whether they are more task oriented or people oriented, and whether they appreciate key points over full details, then adjust your communication with them accordingly. If you're not sure where your boss fits, ask them.
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Or alternatively, if that's not an option, watch for how they communicate with you. So if they're sending you emails with dot points, make sure you do the same. Imitation is a form of flattery, but it's more practically a way to sync you and your boss's work habits and establish compatibility. Now, I know in an ideal world, your boss would be doing this for you. They would be flexing to do things more your way.
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However, most of the time, we don't live in an ideal world. And I did warn you that you may not like this. All right, number two is dealing with difficult bosses. And I sort of touched on this earlier. When we're talking about difficult bosses, it's important to remember that bosses are not simply either awesome or awful.
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There's a wide range of managers who we might refer to as difficult, from the mildly annoying to the highly toxic. More often than not, there are two reasons that we end up feeling our bosses are difficult. When I touched on earlier, their values aren't the same as ours, and or they're not meeting the needs we have as an employee. So I want you to recognize right now that it's okay to have different values from your boss. It doesn't make one of you better or worse than the other.
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Chances are that if you think your boss values are weird, they probably think yours are, too. Teams don't have to see eye to eye to respect each other and achieve great things. If you take a look at Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, the founders of Apple, their values weren't aligned at all, but together, they have literally changed the world.
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Consider what needs you have that you're expecting your boss to meet, and perhaps they're not. You cannot force them to meet your needs. So what are some of the ways you can get your needs met that don't involve your boss?
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So, for example, if you're looking at a mentor, if you're wanting your boss to be a mentor for you, where else can you find a mentor? Now, if you're currently working for a highly toxic boss, someone who, for instance, belittles you at every opportunity, then managing up should come second to survival mode until you can get out. I am telling you, no job is worth your health, mental or physical. Also, in this case, have a support network in place and limit your interactions with that person as much as you can until you can get out of there. Okay, final point for today is we're going to look at your turn to shine.
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So we're going to look at what to do so that your boss knows what praises to sing when you're not in the room. How can you let your manager know what you're capable of without appearing to be a bragger. Well, listen for opportunities when you're talking to share stories that highlight things you've accomplished in the past. Say if other colleagues are talking about something that isn't working for them, you could maybe let them know of a time you did succeed at it and what you did right. You might also be able to share a time when things didn't go right and the lessons you learned from it, especially if you turn the situation around.
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This helps to highlight your ability to do just that to what we call flu learning from value, which is a really important skill these days. When your boss asks what they can do to help you develop which a good leader will do, and I know not all of them give them an honest answer. This will take some strategic thinking on your part, but let them know where you want to go in your career and what will help you get there ahead of time. Now, if you're not sure where that is, it helps to understand your values, which we discussed last week, and have a look at your interests and your skills and then look at how they align with the various career paths available to you. So if you think being a career computer programmer looks like a fun career, but you value connecting with people and you have no skills in programming, you can either go out and learn those skills and come up with a way to connect with people outside of work or maybe look at a different career path.
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It is easy to be frustrated with your manager when things aren't going as you'd like. I have been there. At the end of the day, though, what's within your control is how you show up in the relationship.
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So that's how managing app boils down. Get to know your boss, understand how to get your own needs met, and be ready with stories about how you shine. Do these three things and your career journey will be on the app in no time. Thanks for joining me this week. If you want to continue the conversation about Managing Up, why not join us in the Women and Leadership Facebook group?
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You'll find the link in the show notes, a community of leaders and aspiring leaders. What's not to love? I ask you if you've got value out of this episode, I would really love it if you could share it with others. And of course, if you've been listening to podcasts for any amount of time, you'll know that rating the show and leaving a review helped others to find the show, and I really would appreciate it if you did that. Until next week, continue to lead the way her Way.
